Resolution Re-Cap

On January 1st, Steve and I embarked on a resolution to get healthy in 2010 in preparation for traveling, and getting Lia, and both of us living a long, long time!

Let's be honest, I was never a "skinny" girl. I've always kept a healthy amount of weight on my bones, and can easily dip over into that "overweight" category if I let things go for even a few weeks. Over the past 10 years I have done Weight Watchers, Slimfast, eDiets.com, CalorieKing.com - and countless other "plans" aimed at losing weight and getting healthy. I've done step aerobics, resistance training, jazzercise, yoga, speed walking, cross training, Curves, Taebo, and aqua aerobics at various times to varying degrees of committment. I typically lose about 20-30 lbs, and then fall off the wagon and slowly gain it all back.

So this year, with the goal of fitting comfortably into airplane seats on international flights, climbing the Great Wall, and carrying around a 20 lb. child - we restarted "the plan". This time, with help from a coach (our chiropractor, who is also a nutritional coach). In fact Steve is even broadcasting his weightloss plan publicly, recording "testimonial" radio ads for our coach. So this is good. Steve is being held accountable, which means he is less likely to cheat, which means I am much more likely to stay on track as well...and it hasn't been easy.

It's now been 30 days since we started our new routine. No soda (not even diet), no coffee, no sugar (except the occasional piece of dark chocolate to keep us sane), no red meat - very little bread, pasta, rice or potatoes - no creamy sauces or dressings - and of course nothing fried. Steve is using the treadmill at home, while I am hitting the gym for aqua sport class 3x/week. Isn't it supposed to be "habit" by now? "Lean and green" is not as easy as it sounds!

On the bright side, I am down 10 lbs...and Steve is down 15 lbs (men drop weight so much more quickly than women - NOT FAIR!) - in just 30 days. I'm also getting fewer headaches, fewer gut aches, and have had no heartburn in weeks. At this rate, we will hit our goal weights in four months...(just in time for summer!) Then our coach will help us start bringing some foods back into our meal plans. For now, we are finding 100 different ways to cook salmon and chicken breasts, and replacing ground turkey into many recipes. Trying to stay creative with a variety of veggies as well to keep things interesting. Luckily, we are eating six times a day, and most of those meals are nutrition shakes or bars supplied by our coach. I can't believe a low-fat turkey sub on whole wheat has become a treat - but is has!

One month down... :)

Busy Week!

Lots of stuff going on over the past 10 days... Of course things at work have been incredibly busy since the tragic earthquake in Haiti...the agency has been overwhelmed with calls and emails from well-meaning people who want to help the children there. Haiti is not a country that our agency works with, so it has been hard to explain to people that we could do nothing but encourage them to give money to any of the other many reputable agencies who are working there. In fact, I was very proud to hear that the adoption agency I am using in Colorado, CCAI (who launched a Haiti adoption program last year), was taking monetary donations and had already flown into Haiti (in a donated private jet), to get supplies to their partner orphanage in Port au Prince. Details.

While the people of Haiti were in the news and hearts of people everywhere this week, here in Spokane the big news was the National Figure Skating Championships. It did seem a little weird to be "celebrating" ice skaters with festivals and concerts downtown, while so much of the world's attention was on Haiti (and rightfully so!) But life does go on, and with the Winter Olympics only a month away, the National Championships in Spokane would determine which skaters would represent the U.S. at the 2010 Olympic Games.

Steve was able to get us some media tickets for last weekend's Senior Pairs Championship (long program). They ended up being at the far end of the rink, just to the left of the "kiss and cry" area you see on TV. We sat in the 4th row - great seats! Now, I rollerskated competitively back when I was in middle school (that's me in the white dress circa 1984). I even skated with a partner, so I was very excited about going to this event. I had been to the post-Olympic ice skating tours, and professional shows before, but I had never attended an actual "competition" at this elite level. Let me tell you - it was weird, because in many ways, it was very similar to the regional and state meets I went to as an amateur rollerskater back in Jr. High. There were vendors set up selling skating costumes, and reps from all the skate boot companies, including the brand I wore (and still have in storage) as well as backdrops set up for photos...but mainly what all came flooding back to me was the TIME involved in these meets! It is a lot of "hurry up and wait". Four couples would come out to warm up, then they would each skate their routine, and then you would wait 5-10 minutes for the judge's results, and then the next couple would skate. After the four couples, the zamboni's would come out to clear the ice, and there would be a 20 min. break. Then the whole thing would start again. So basically, just the Senior Pairs competition would take all day. You only see a few hours of the National competition broadcast on TV, but it actually covers two fulls weeks of 16 hr days at the arena. We only ended up staying about an hour and a half, but it was fun to see what it was like.

The Friday before Nationals kicked off, there was a concert downtown by a group called The Fab Four. They are a very popular Beatles tribute band. We actually saw them perform when we were down in San Diego last February. They were fun to watch, but even more fun was watching the crowd respond. Steve and I were on the younger end at this show for sure. The majority of the audience was in their 50s & 60s. But everyone seemed to really let loose their "inner teenager" at the show and have fun.

Finally - on Thursday of this week, my social worker returned from vacation and was able to get my homestudy addendum written. I rec'd the notarized copies in the mail yesterday, and will get that mailed off to the immigration department tomorrow morning so they can continue the processing of my I800A.

Smart Adoption

This week turned out to be busier than planned. On Monday, I received the dreaded "pink" letter from the immigration department - otherwise known as the Request for Additional Evidence letter. UGH. This is a common occurence on I-1800A applications. Although you submit your application in full, including every piece of paper known to mankind (and your adoption agency!) They still find SOMETHING that they need more info on before they can process your paperwork. I'm guessing it's kind of like the IRS - randomly picking out files to audit. Blah.

So luckily, the items they are asking me for are not scary or unattainable. They want my social worker to write up an addendum to my homestudy, explaining the research I have done, and medical resources available in my area to treat any of the special needs I said I was open to. They also want a copy of my divorce decree, because apparently, showing it to my social worker during the homestudy and her signing a notarized document saying that she saw it and that all my vital statistics were accurate was not enough "proof" that I was legally divorced. Of course, I got this notice right when my social worker was to go on vacation for a week. They basically give you 45 days to respond in writing, or they will consider your entire immigration file (including the $830 fingerprints) null and void. Lovely. So once my social worker gets back on the 21st, we will proceed with submitting the requested documentation ASAP. Everything in it's own time. At this point, I actually don't mind that the 1800A process is dragging out, because once you are approved, the approval is only good for 15 months. So I want the timing to be such that I get approved, then I get a referral and travel to China before my 15 months is up (otherwise you have to file an extenstion, yadda, yadda...)

This week I saw a new story about actress Jean Smart having adopted an 18-month old girl from China last summer. People were thinking this was crazy - how could this happen? Jean Smart is 58 yrs old! Well, yes, she is 58 yrs old NOW. She was probably 57 when they brought their daughter home last summer...and they probably applied to adopt at LEAST 4-5 years before that...at which point they would've met China's "30-55 yr old" age requirement. Smart was quoted as saying "the process ended up taking a lot longer than we expected" ...tell me about it sister... So everytime I start to worry that I might be too old to be taking on a young child, I will think about Jean Smart. Even if this process takes another year, I will still be 18 years younger than Jean Smart when I meet my daughter! :)

...and Two

In December I decided that I would also start counting up the number of months since I submitted my Medical Conditions Checklist (MCC) to my agency. This is where you check off all the "special needs" you might be open to considering. The term "special needs" is a broad one, particularly in countries such as China. Here in America, when we hear the term "special needs", we tend to think of children who are severly disabled - either physically or developmentally.

In China (and certain other foreign countries), the term "special needs" can be used to refer to children who are perfectly healthy and bright, except they might be missing a finger or a toe. They might have a birthmark, or perhaps they have hearing loss in one ear. They might have been born with a cleft lip, a club foot, scoliosis, a minor heart condition, or were just born prematurely...all issues that - here in America - a child's parents would have addressed immediately following birth.

But children in an orphanage have much less chance of receiving any specialty medical care they might need. Interestingly, even if these kids are lucky enough to receive donated surgeries to fully repair these issues, they are STILL labeled "special needs" children when they go back to the orphanage - just because of their past issues - and cannot be adopted thru the "healthy child" programs.

In fact, 85% of the children in China's orphanages are labeled "special needs". And while some of those children do have complicated and severe disabilities and developmental issues, the vast majority of them are just children who may not have been born "perfect" (are any of us?) - and their biggest special "need" is the need for a family who can provide them with the love, medical and nutritional care that all children deserve.

Speaking of which - congrats to THIS new family united earlier today! Their daughter is adorable. :)

33 Months...The Wait

Here we are at 33 months... Four years ago when I started the adoption process (and this blog), I thought the wait would be 18-24 months (at the longest). Then some time in 2008 I realized it would likely be more like 36 months... and finally this past year, I realized that - at the rate things have been moving in China - it would be (at least) another five years if I didn't adjust my paradigm and consider some additional roads to finding Lia... In the meantime, many people have commented on my positive attitude throughout the wait and what a great inspiration I am...yadda, yadda...but believe me, I'm not...at least not all the time.


Really.

It's true that since July I've accomplished a lot. I made some decisions. We moved into a house (where we want to stay for awhile), got a new homestudy done, re-submitted the required immigration paperwork, submitted the medical checklist for the special needs program, got re-fingerprinted, enjoyed the hustle and bustle of the holidays...and now 10 days into the new year...here I am...back to waiting. Waiting on my 1800-A approval...but more importantly waiting on a referral.

I've experienced enough in my life to know this about myself - when I have something to do, or something to work toward (as in paperwork - or a "plan" of some sort) I have a much easier time than when I'm sitting around waiting - such as waiting on government officials, or waiting for the "right" child to become available and referred. There is absolutely no controlling those parts of the adoption process - and that is definitely the hardest part of my day-to-day life right now. One thing is certain. Soon my life will change in an instant with one phone call. I could get that call tomorrow (unlikely) - or I might not get a call until next year... But how do you reconcile this with yourself day after day? You can never allow yourself to get either A) too excited - or B) too depressed - about the situation. It's like being in an ongoing limbo day after day, week after week, month after month...

So I guess it's not surprising that I can't help but feel a bit melancholy, and helpless, (and to be honest - sorry for myself)...on occasion. It is known as an emotional "rollercoaster" for a reason I suppose. The ride of a lifetime. And while I know in the end that my Lia will be worth every second of every minute I have been waiting for her...it makes it no less difficult in the meantime. Many days I am able to focus on the positive, with an easy peace and gratitude about what my life currently is - and what it is about to become - and some days I just muddle through - working, eating, sleeping... Then there are some days...well, some days where I come undone completely...finding myself wiping away tears in the toy aisle at Target, or walking past Gymboree on my way to a movie at the local mall.

I get asked several times a week, "when do you think you will get a match?" - and I paste a smile on my face and project a happy tone "hopefully this year!" But inside my mind is reeling...will it be this year? or next? Will I travel to China in winter, spring, summer, or fall? Will my daughter be an infant, or a toddler, or a preschooler? Will she need a crib or a bed in her room? What kind of special need might she have? And what kind of medical specialist might she need? Will I be 40 - or 41 when I become a parent? How old will I be when she graduates high school? (I guess that depends on how old I am - and how old she is - when we find each other) - Do you see how this kind of thinking could drive you INSANE after awhile?

Bottom line. I have to trust that things will work out WHEN they are supposed to work out, AS they are supposed to work out. Though I realize this is easier said than done on many days, I have to continue to meditate upon it, pray about it, and BELIEVE IT.

...or else I will fall apart.

Possibly the Cutest Hello Kitty Doll....EVER!

A New Year...

I've overhauled the blog with new colors for a fresh, new year. As the Black Eyed Peas say "I've Got a Feelin" that 2010 is going to be a GREAT year!

We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day...

~Edith Lovejoy Pierce

HAPPY 2010 EVERYONE.

MAY YOUR YEAR BE BLESSED!